the candid files

Your love, oh Lord
reaches to the heavens
and Your faithfulness
stretches to the skies
Your Righteousness
is like the mighty mountains
Your Justice flows
like the oceans tides

and I will lift my voice
to worship you, my King
and I will find my strength
in the shadow of your wings…

Third Day

What is your worst nightmare?
Really, if you think about it, your worst nightmare probably isn’t something horrible and gross, like getting nibbled to death by piranhas or being buried alive in quicksand or an avalanche. It’s probably something socially devastating, like spending your old age alone, or walking around naked in front of your church, or getting pregnant at the age of 18…
and what’s really scary is those are so possible.

So it’s a Saturday afternoon…
I never know what to do with myself on Saturday afternoons.
Well, I mean I know, because the bathroom has to be cleaned and my room is a mess, the whole basement needs vaccuuming and the plants should be watered…oh and I have a bunch of ironing to finish…
And seeing as I just got home from work, I should have a shower. In Peter’s words, “so you don’t stink so much”.  nice, real nice.
But I tend to laze around and I’m bored and I spend half the time making plans for Saturday night.
Which is a big deal, when you have no money or ambition.  There are free things for a couple to do, of course, but they’ve all been done before.  At least we’ve done it all.
………oops, I did that double entendre thing again.
As Ryan would put it, “Get your head out of your pants!!”

am I not going out with the sweetest guy in the whole entire world?
last Thursday, as you all saw, I was first worried, and then a little annoyed at him for dropping off the face of the earth for two whole days.  (think what you will, single folks…your grip on reality loosens when someone else is so involved in it.)
So since he just happened to be passing by the general direction of my place that night, he stopped by with flowers!
everyone, on cue, say “awwwww”
and anyway I just wanted to publicize how blessed I am.
now I slept in too long this morning and I have to grab a few things at the grocery store on my way to work.
Chris’s party tonight!
Candice
 

I wonder if women’s intuition really is something. This morning, with no real cause to be, I am worried about someone close to me and it’s making me antsy.
I have no idea what could be wrong, except for the three or four different horrible scenarios that are running through my head. They involve sickness, car accidents, recent anger that maybe has not been resolved, and personal devastation.

The first one is not the most tragic, but it happens, and it would, at this point, be a relief to my hyperventilating mind. Were it anything serious, I am sure I would have received a phone call to that effect.
The second, while quite possible as well, is not so likely, because a) one of the reasons I am worried is because I haven’t heard from this person since Tuesday, and if a car accident had occurred, I am sure I would have received communication to this effect. b) Peter’s a good driver. (yes you knew this was about Peter, didn’t you.)
The third, well, could be a problem, although when last we spoke things seemed to be in order, and the proper amount of affection was displayed in goodbyes. However, anger has been known to raise its ugly head when I am not around to interfere with words of apology. (again)
The fourth, well I cannot really say what this means, but something personally devastating COULD have occurred which would explain a) why Peter has not been online in two days, and b) why he never called or emailed last night like he said he was going to do. A death in the family? If it had been of his immediate family I would know, through my mother, who is busy with VBS as I type, just as Peter’s mother is. In the extended family I would have been notified when next we spoke, which probably would not have been so far from the last time, since the extended family is not so devastating. No, death does not explain it.
There is always the possibility that he is sitting at his desk at work right now, working hard, and is simply not signed in to MSN. That, however simple it sounds, is not equating in my mind simply because he is ALWAYS online, ONLY talks to me, and therefore has no reason to feel guilty about at least being signed in. And his boss is on vacation, so there is no one to make him feel uncomfortable.

OH.

…there he is…

and he’s laughing at me. what a jerk. Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean it….I love you…

I think my women’s intuition belongs in an institution.

I think it’s possible that someday I could become a workaholic. I’m the kind of person that feels dedicated to their job, and I simply can’t not care about it. I have to do everything in my power to make sure things run smoothly. Maybe that’s why I don’t really mind getting called in at 6:30 in the morning or whatever.
I also have to be organized. To a point.
OK, so you know how people can play a prank on someone, and that prank can have nothing to do with you, but you’ll notice something weird going on, so you’ll comment on it or ask what’s going on or why that thing is hanging on your boss’s door…and totally ruin the practical joke?
Is it just me who does that? and if so WHY? I have ruined so many things like that by simply being clueless and asking what’s going on. Or not paying attention and honestly stating what you see as fact.
Anyway, this has become such a phenomenon that at work the phrase, “pulling a Candice” is becoming synonymous (sp?) with ruining a joke.
I hang my head in shame.
But at the same time, it is kind of nice to be remembered for something.
smell ya later!
candice