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This is the new car. Exactly. Cute, eh? Oops…did I say that?
the old car
After months – no, more like years – of toil and tribulation, Peter’s first car, the little blue 1992 Acura Integra, is being put to rest. It’s handing in its plates and heading off to the land of car retirement…which, I guess, is the wreckers.
I am really kind of sad to see that car go. Imagine, if the Integra could talk, what kind of stories it could tell. The Integra probably has seen all the most poignant slices of our two and a half year relationship. Our first date: I guess not everyone knows their way around Burlington, keep that in mind. Some of our deepest conversations, as well as most of our serious fights. A lot of introspective silences. Tears – sad ones, scared ones, angry ones. And laughter, don’t forget the laughter! And remember…the seats were exactly the right distance apart…oohlala…
The hundreds of times we climbed into that car of an evening, about 10:30 at night, and Peter would drive me home in time for curfew. That probably won’t change for a while…just the car will be different.
Then there were the times spent in that car with others. Driving up to Brian’s for the weekend, Peter, Tammy, Ryan and I and all our gear including snowsuits, tarps and tents and probably firewood or something. I don’t think I could even move my feet. Or the time you got a speeding ticket on the way home from Verbinnens, with Ryan. You know, the new car has a lot more room in the back – that’ll be good.
I especially remember the times spent driving very slowly through the dark in a snowstorm, or a rainstorm. Something about a car being buffeted by the weather – it turns into this tiny little world. Remember last Christmas, driving to Hensel? I think we had that Christmas CD I gave you on our first Dec. 25 playing. The snow was so bad we could barely see, and then we realized a headlight was out. And then we got stuck, and some kind country boy yanked us out with his pickup truck (with chains…) I think it took us two and a half hours to get there – and then Grandma gave you a fold-up shovel for your car as a Christmas present. That might have been handy. But even though the weather was terrible, and probably dangerous, I almost didn’t want to get there.
And then there was that night, December 21, 2004, when you asked me to marry you. Sitting in my driveway, in that old faithful car. Not really the most romantic location, but I don’t think either of us cared.
The new car is a 2001 Mazda Protege. Oh, I forgot – an ES GT 2.0. It hurts to go into debt over a car – but if it’s as tough as the blue Integra, it’ll be worth it.
Here’s to the prospect of new memories to make.
between jobs…
Well, people, this is shaping up to be an extremely boring week. The extent of my plans: switch banks at some point, return my brother and sister’s movies, spend Wednesday morning at St. Joe’s (for the last time!…I don’t think I’ll be able to volunteer there anymore) and go shopping for some work clothes. That last thing is the only thing that sounds mildly fun, even though I hate shopping. Oh, and switching banks…it’ll feel really really good to get out of BMO. Their motto should be
Bank of Montreal – we have no branches, to serve you worse.
So anyway yes, that’s my life. I think I’m also going to try to find a good book at the library and work on my tan…and sort a few things out for VBS. Wow, you should see the mural that Tammy and I painted…it’s so beautiful!! It’ll look really good with my “savannah grasses”. *ahem* swamp matter…
I had a really profound thought in church on Sunday, and I can’t remember it. I hate that.
But just so you all know, it was profound. 
goodness
Allright…anyone up for a camp cheer?
GOD IS GOOD
…ALL THE TIME!!!
I just received a job offer from the Community Care Access Centre of Halton. It’s fulltime, it’s interesting work (I think), the pay is great, and it’s close to home. I could not ask for more.
It’s been difficult, these past few months. I’ve felt so up and down. One day I’ve been content, trusting God that He knows what He’s doing…but then at times I’ve been stressed out of my mind, sure that He’s too busy to notice that I need a job. But, you know, God has been SO GOOD to me…He’s pulling the ends of my life together into this neat package that He’s presenting to me, all set up.
I don’t mean to say that I deserve this. I don’t even mean that there is no longer any adventure to live. But God’s given me some excellent gifts over the past three months. What can I do but praise Him??
Lord, You are AMAZING.
conversations with the moon
Last night, I was standing in my dark house, looking out the window at the absolute glory of a moonlit night. I wanted to talk to God, converse with Him, somehow ask Him to give me the answers. Perhaps I need to learn more advanced communication skills than the faculty of words, though – because the moon just smiled back benignly. Maybe that’s why God put a face on that little orbiting planet – to mock us for being so simple-minded that we would ask Him for an answer.
I don’t know any other way to talk to You than with words…What am I supposed to do, sit here and look for your Will in the plans of others? Are my parents now Your voice on earth? Why can’t You just speak and tell me…
What now, God?
things that have broken through the dim glass…
I received a “thought” through last night’s sermon. It wasn’t exactly in the sermon, but through some extrapolation:
When we lean on ourselves, we fall – and we fall hard.
When we lean on others, they hold us up – until they get tired, and then we both fall.
When we lean on God, he picks us up and carries us – and we needn’t ever fear to fall.
And this verse has been stuck in my head since last night – which is weird, because no one ever mentioned it. Yes, I have a good inheritance.
Psalm 16:6
Burning Bushes
Exodus 3:2-5
And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him (Moses) in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed. Then Moses said, “I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.” So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then He said, “Do not draw near this place. Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”
I wonder if we walk past burning bushes everyday? Last night I picked up my Bible – I didn’t know where to turn to, even what I was looking for, but I asked God to give me an idea and He led me to Exodus…to Moses.
I started reading the passage, and immediately laughed out loud. I always thought it was funny, that Moses talked to himself. “I will now go over there and check out this crazy thing”. I guess that would happen to you if you were tending sheep all day. Maybe he was talking to the sheep. Just so they’d know where he was.
So the verse struck me. Then the next line – “when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, He called out to him”. This bush may have been burning there – but the Lord wasn’t really doing cartwheels to get Moses’ attention. What would have happened if Moses hadn’t noticed that the bush wasn’t burning up? What if he had just decided to let it be?
More importantly, does God attempt to capture our attention like this more often?
God is not – how do I say this – promiscuous in seeking our attention. I can’t help but think that He does still attempt to capture our undivided attention with our eyes. What’s that feeling that comes over us when we are lost in a beautiful scene of nature…a sunset, a flower, the power of a thunderstorm?
He’s putting on a show for us, people – He’s waiting there, showering blessings down, waiting to be worshipped. And to meet with us – after all, there’s no way Moses would have gone back to Egypt without God’s exacting directions. What’s to say God isn’t waiting there to show us what we’re supposed to do? In a time of such indecision – at least for me, I’m not even 20 yet, what am I going to do next? – I need all the help I can get.
I’m going to try not to pass by the burning bushes on my path, today.
Romance, God-style
Ever notice how God works?
We haven’t been talking much, these last few weeks. Every now and then – but it’s almost too painful to talk, for me. Is my life lacking in passion? Nothing excites me lately. Nothing but the prospect of the future. But today is yesterday’s future…and I’m just as bored now as I was then.
Boredom deals a much harder blow to faith than tragedy.
At the same time as looking forward to the future, (while failing to appreciate the present), I’ve been making matters worse by being anxious about how things are going to work. Are my plans going to work, or will they fall through…will I be left wondering where to go next? Will I keep on endlessly waiting for something to happen?
In the midst of this low point…God gave me a gift.
Like a young man comes to the door, courting a woman with flowers, just like that He’s coming to me. In small ways. Can I count the showers of small blessings that have come to me lately? I can pretend I don’t know where they’re from, but that’s a lie.
I know Him. I know He loves me. And I know that life with Him could be – is - far better than I can imagine. And I know that underneath my shield of apathy lies a heart that longs to love Him better. As in that song…”I have to praise you like I should….”
So – I guess I’ll have to train myself to love Him. I’ll let you know how it goes.
