the candid files

Everyone, except possibly for the people who hired me, thinks I’m going back to school.

Even the delightful woman who owns the Coco Cat, where I buy my coffee everyday, asked me if I was ready to go back to school next week. I didn’t think I looked that young – well, young obviously – but don’t these people ever see young people working? Our whole world now expects you to be in school until you get wrinkles between your eyes from frowning at a computer screen and small print.

That’s right – no wrinkles, no respect for you!!

The Bible says not to let anyone look down on you because you’re young, but it’s pretty hard sometimes. I feel intimidated, like everyone thinks I’m throwing my life away by quitting higher education so soon. Every now and then I meet another person who isn’t judgemental and I cling to that person, I relive our conversation in my head.

There’s this great lady I work with – her name’s Erma. Erma Wilson. She only works part-time, and just last week she had a serious bout of appendicitis, so I haven’t seen her for a bit. She’s probably late fifties, maybe almost sixty. She got married when she was nineteen – and now, at the stage in life where she is, she thinks it’s great. She rescues me now and then when people get on my back about not being educated enough. “You have to do what you want to do, Candice – what you feel is right. Just because they all think that you have to have a master’s degree and spend at least one summer in Europe in order to have fully lived doesn’t mean that’s what’s right for you.” (not an exact quote – but pretty much what she said)

The truth is, people don’t get it. There’s this one girl at work – we sort of try to get along because we’re almost the only ones there under thirty – she’s 25, she just got married in July to a guy she’s been dating for something stupid like 8 years. She has a bachelor’s degree in gerontology – and she’s going back in September for her Master’s degree part-time. We have the same job. Exactly. She doesn’t want to do this for the rest of her life – she wants a better job, a more fulfilling job, one that pays more. Someday in the future yeah, she’ll probably have kids.

A month after I started she was constantly at me, telling me basically that I didn’t know what I wanted, that I had to go to university, that I had to move out, that I absolutely NEEDED to take three months and go to Europe. I have to believe that she means the best. Because I’m guessing she really doesn’t know how hurtful that kind of “encouragement” can be. No matter how many times I told her that I considered university – that I applied, that I got accepted, and THAT I FRIGGEN WELL DECIDED TO DECLINE – she kept at it. Warning me that you never know what the future will hold. That IF I got married and IF it lasted (because of course it really might not) there’s no way we could live on one income.

Finally I told her that I am a Christian, and that I decided that if I did what I felt God was leading me to do, He would take care of the details. And so far, that’s pretty much shut her up. Now it’s sort of an unspoken thing, the whole “education” issue – we just ignore it mostly.

Some people are just very outspoken and opinionated. I hope I’m a little more sensitive though. Especially in the future when I find myself working with young people.

Oh, on another note, I think I’d better get married soon – or I’m going to be an unwed mother. It seems that pregnancy is contagious around the CCAC. The desks on two sides of me are both occupied by pregnant women, and I can think of at least two or three others offhand who’ve announced they’re expecting since I’ve been at work. The maternal vibe is definitely there. eek.

I have a great idea of what to get Peter for his birthday. I had an inspiration at 1:00 this morning. Maybe I AM crazy.

In some ways I’m nervous about Sarah working with me everyday – I mean, I’m excited, and it will be awesome to have a friend to work with – but I’m worried. What if she doesn’t like the job? (that happened with Laura, you know…lol) I have a feeling I’ll feel responsible, you know – and what if we get in each others’ hair being together too much? It could really damage our friendship, maybe…

But I have to remind myself that if you can decide to have an intimate relationship with a guy, and see them all the time, and still miss them when they aren’t around, then why shouldn’t you be able to work with one of your best girlfriends? Maybe it’s a decision, a decision to allow the closeness of your daily lives to grow your friendship.

It’s not the first time I’ve worked with friends. Actually now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve worked anywhere without people I know. I had a paper route, which I shared with my brother, and it was the same paper a lot of my friends delivered. Then I worked at Pearl Street, and Justine and I shared the job there. Then I moved to RC’s for eight months or something, and my (new mom!!!) cousin Christina worked there…and from there I worked for Alexander Place. I found some connections – a couple of the younger guys in the kitchen went to the same church as Laura – and then when Laura came home from Ireland, she got a job there in the housekeeping department. And last summer I worked for a while at Verbinnen’s Nursery, with my brother, and half my church – well not quite, but you get my point.

So – I have decided that this is going to be a GOOD thing. And I’m excited.

two o’clock on a Saturday afternoon.
No big plans in the future…my family’s going to visit family, but I’m being lazy and staying home.
My “hot young single” neighbour’s having a big party. Like, huge. He’s rented a port-o-potty, hired a DJ and according to my brother there are kegs lined up to go, and he filled this old boat he has entirely full of ice. We’re even invited…so maybe I’ll go check it out later. Not like I even know the guy’s name, but apparently I won’t be sleeping anyway because our yards are so close…really they’re almost one big yard. So we’ll see.
I stayed at work overtime yesterday, till nine. Aside from the annoyance of working when you could be doing other things, working late is pretty nice. It’s quiet, with just five or six people – nice people, too. And since we had serious faxing issues last night, I wasn’t really too worried about doing everything perfect, I was just trying to survive.

I survived the first work week after vacation blues. It wasn’t too bad. Aside from feeling absolutely awful on Thursday and in a Tylenol enhanced state of haziness emailing Peter to whine about it…and accidentally sending the email to my manager instead…who fortunately has a decent sense of humour. THAT was embarassing. Good thing I was feeling too sick to write anything mushy.

It turns out that my graduation from college is occurring on Sept. 23. My whole family is camping in Pineries that weekend, which I think is a major blessing. Otherwise I could just see my mom and dad dragging my brother and sister there, to sit and try and make a huge momentous occasion out of my career college “acheivement”. The only reason I want to go is to see some people I haven’t seen since June. So I think I’ll just take Peter for the evening and then we’ll go up to the Pineries afterward.

Camp was strange this year. I loved it – I loved seeing Ryan and Peter being totally awesome counselors…and I loved the challenges Justine and I had to face, in a strange way…they made camp sort of dramatic. Not that it isn’t usually…

I remember in particular Friday morning. After all that had happened with our errant cabin pack late the night before, we were pretty apprehensive about how the day was going to go. And exhausted, since we hadn’t got to bed until about two. Justine wasn’t feeling well so she stayed back at the cabin with the campers, and the rest of us went to the counselor cabin for morning devotions. For those of you who haven’t been at camp as a counselor, in the morning once devotions and business is discussed we break into groups, hold hands, and pray together. I was the last in our group to pray…and as I prayed for strength for the day and thanked God for the people who’d given so much to help Justine and I with our girls…everyone started crying. Well all the girls, anyway…and then while we were all crying and hugging the other two groups showed up, and although everyone who wasn’t involved was pretty bewildered, we gathered together for our cheer. Gathered in a huddle with our hands together and some people still in tears, someone started singing Kumbayah. And everyone joined in…which made me cry more than before…

Somebody’s crying Lord
Kumbayah
Oh, oh, oh somebody’s crying Lord
Kumbaya
Oh, oh, oh somebody’s crying Lord
Kumbaya
They’re crying rain, storm, fire Lord, Kumbayah

Kumbayah, Lord, Kumbayah
Kumbayah, Lord, Kumbayah
Kumbayah, Lord, Kumbayah
Kumbayah, Lord, Kumbayah

For those who don’t know, “Kumbayah” means “Come by here”. And He really did. It was amazing, the change in our cabin pack that day. We asked for staff help with our CPD’s…and amazingly, they went well. I think on the last day the girls learned more than they had the entire week before. So it just goes to show you…the prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Or a whole bunch of not-so-righteous men and women who really do desire to serve the Lord.

On a totally unrelated note, on one of those “follow the links” trips from blog to blog to places where I really knew no one I found this very interesting post on “what’s so good about marriage” http://junkmail.chattablogs.com/archives/027288.html
Read it.

I’m going away in TWO DAYS!!! I am inordinately excited.

I have Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Pineries for young people’s camping, which should be fun…it’s my very first time going, (yes I know…almost 20 and I seem to miss out on it every single year) I’m excited for that. Then on Sunday we’re going straight up to CAMPFIRE!!!! for a week….I have a happy feeling in my chest just thinking about it. Except I keep thinking about Gordon Lodge and the Hockley Valley, and everything, and forgetting that we’re going to a brand new camp. Sigh…I hope it’s good…
I need a name. A nickname….something that’s like a flower, or a bug.

I need a whole lot of stuff…planning on some Olympic speed shopping after work.

I probably won’t post till I’m back…so…have a nice week!!