the candid files

Everyone, except possibly for the people who hired me, thinks I’m going back to school.

Even the delightful woman who owns the Coco Cat, where I buy my coffee everyday, asked me if I was ready to go back to school next week. I didn’t think I looked that young – well, young obviously – but don’t these people ever see young people working? Our whole world now expects you to be in school until you get wrinkles between your eyes from frowning at a computer screen and small print.

That’s right – no wrinkles, no respect for you!!

The Bible says not to let anyone look down on you because you’re young, but it’s pretty hard sometimes. I feel intimidated, like everyone thinks I’m throwing my life away by quitting higher education so soon. Every now and then I meet another person who isn’t judgemental and I cling to that person, I relive our conversation in my head.

There’s this great lady I work with – her name’s Erma. Erma Wilson. She only works part-time, and just last week she had a serious bout of appendicitis, so I haven’t seen her for a bit. She’s probably late fifties, maybe almost sixty. She got married when she was nineteen – and now, at the stage in life where she is, she thinks it’s great. She rescues me now and then when people get on my back about not being educated enough. “You have to do what you want to do, Candice – what you feel is right. Just because they all think that you have to have a master’s degree and spend at least one summer in Europe in order to have fully lived doesn’t mean that’s what’s right for you.” (not an exact quote – but pretty much what she said)

The truth is, people don’t get it. There’s this one girl at work – we sort of try to get along because we’re almost the only ones there under thirty – she’s 25, she just got married in July to a guy she’s been dating for something stupid like 8 years. She has a bachelor’s degree in gerontology – and she’s going back in September for her Master’s degree part-time. We have the same job. Exactly. She doesn’t want to do this for the rest of her life – she wants a better job, a more fulfilling job, one that pays more. Someday in the future yeah, she’ll probably have kids.

A month after I started she was constantly at me, telling me basically that I didn’t know what I wanted, that I had to go to university, that I had to move out, that I absolutely NEEDED to take three months and go to Europe. I have to believe that she means the best. Because I’m guessing she really doesn’t know how hurtful that kind of “encouragement” can be. No matter how many times I told her that I considered university – that I applied, that I got accepted, and THAT I FRIGGEN WELL DECIDED TO DECLINE – she kept at it. Warning me that you never know what the future will hold. That IF I got married and IF it lasted (because of course it really might not) there’s no way we could live on one income.

Finally I told her that I am a Christian, and that I decided that if I did what I felt God was leading me to do, He would take care of the details. And so far, that’s pretty much shut her up. Now it’s sort of an unspoken thing, the whole “education” issue – we just ignore it mostly.

Some people are just very outspoken and opinionated. I hope I’m a little more sensitive though. Especially in the future when I find myself working with young people.

Oh, on another note, I think I’d better get married soon – or I’m going to be an unwed mother. It seems that pregnancy is contagious around the CCAC. The desks on two sides of me are both occupied by pregnant women, and I can think of at least two or three others offhand who’ve announced they’re expecting since I’ve been at work. The maternal vibe is definitely there. eek.