the candid files

I should not be sitting at this computer.

I really need to be in bed right now.

But I just sort of feel the need to chat…to tell the world my life. I think sometimes I need to spill my guts to people in order to be taken seriously…it’s as if I feel like my life isn’t really as dramatic as I think it is until I tell others. Maybe sometimes I say things I should better keep to myself…but at the same time, no one can help you if they don’t know you have needs. Anyway, the people who need to know, know, and the rest of you – thanks for reading.

GBS tonight. I’d really like to be able to say it wasn’t too “marriage counselling” focused – but it was. I think that’s because two of us are getting married in the next 4.5 months. Probably. But still, it was a good night. Prayer time was great…and I really must be PMSing, because I think I cried four times over the course of the evening.

I’m wounded. Wounded by loving someone with every fibre of my objective existence, and being loved in return at least as much. It still comes as a shock to me that love could cause such heartsickness.

This is the year that if you’re not getting married, you’re travelling. Jolene’s going to Holland tomorrow. My maid of honour and Peter’s best man are running away to Europe the day after the wedding. Sarah’s going camping (ok, that’s not far…but at least she got a mention) Apparently my cousin’s going to Europe in June. I’m going to Grand Rapids in June. Does that count?

I have no idea where we’re going on this honeymoon of ours. That’s Peter’s job. We’re getting passports, at least, I know that much.

One of the most exciting things about this year is that I get to move out. I’m so excited to live on our own, have our own dishes pile up, hate cooking our own food, and procrastinate about vaccuuming our own floor and washing our own laundry. Ah, yes. Independance. Bring it on. So many of my friends are moving back home, or finally coming to terms with the fact that they’re STAYING home STILL…funny, I never had an urge to leave the nest until Peter came along. And now suddenly the inevitablity of this is making me so excited.

This was most likely not the most entertaining post you’ve ever read, but thank you for sticking with me. Now I have approximately six hours to sleep left, so…bye.

155 days, 4 hours, 43 minutes

I’m pretty sure this isn’t the most important thing I should be doing right now. But since Peter told me he checks this blog twice a day, I guess I’d better give him something to read.

Last Saturday, Peter and I (following in my parent’s footsteps) spent an hour or so hanging out at IKEA. We made an impulse furniture purchase! Our first kitchen table has taken up residence in my basement. It’s pretty. And it was so exciting.
“Can we afford this?” “Do you think this is a decent table – I mean, I think it’s nice, don’t you?” “Do you like this colour?…oh but that colour looks tacky.”
And then I stood outside at the loading exit, waiting while Peter got the car…and then we squished this big furniture-shaped cardboard package into our Mazda. As we drove home, every few minutes one of us would look to the other and say, “Can you believe we bought a TABLE?” And then we’d giggle.

I think we decided to get married and have furniture together.

All’s I can say is, children may be scary for us.

158 days, 6 hours, 17 minutes

the screen is blank because I’m thinking.

158 days, 6 hours, 15 minutes

sigh.

158 days, 6 hours, 14 minutes

You’d better navigate away from this page.
I could go on this way for a while.